Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You don't make any sense
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