As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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