Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
