there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
