Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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