Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My balls are so social today.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
