dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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