I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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