If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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