My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
