You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
