Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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