Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
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