are you still at the devil's house?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
