oh god the rape fog is back!
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
