try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
