Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
