Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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