this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
