He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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