mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
