Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
