this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
