do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Can I color on your dick again?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
