Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
