Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
