I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
