He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
