Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
we made out on top of his cat.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
