Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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