and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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