Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
