Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
