we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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