What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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