Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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