Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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