Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
