doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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