I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
