I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
We're like a lot better than the average bears
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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