Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
