I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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