It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
