Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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