he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
