If i come over, it means nothing
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Thank you for not boning my boss.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
