Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
