That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
