its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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